Regardless of whether your divorce process is turbulent or amicable, your children will still be affected by the separation between you and your spouse. According to the , 40 to 50 percent of American marriages end in divorce.
This makes for a lot of children left to deal with the aftermath. At Foster & Harmon P.C., our Lansing custody lawyers specialize in family law and understand that divorce can be stressful for not only you, but for your children as well.
We understand that you want to shield your children from the worse effects of the divorce, which is why we have created this guide to help you out during this stressful time.
The Age of Your Child Matters
While children can be resilient, this doesn’t mean that we should ignore their emotional needs during divorce proceedings. It is still important to check in with your child to gauge how they are reacting to the drastic change in their life.
According to , there is the tendency for children to react to the divorce of their parents in different ways, which is dependent on their . For example, children up to the ages of eight or nine have a tendency to become needier of their parents or even regress in certain self-care skills, such as toilet training. Children can act this way if they are worried about their parents being distant after the divorce process. Children between the ages of eight and 13, however, are more likely to assert their own independence and be rebellious during a divorce.
It is important to note that Psychology Today is referring to the tendencies of children to act in these ways in accordance to their age. If your children respond differently to your legal separation, don’t worry. Each child is different.
Your Child May Think They Have to Choose Sides
Getting a is a process, which is why it is only natural that you may complain about your ex-spouse from time to time. However, be sure to limit this kind of negative talk around your child. Even though your ex-spouse is no longer in your life doesn’t mean that they stopped being your child’s parent. Complaining to your child about their other parent is not fair—especially since your child depends on you for survival and is more likely to say things they think you want to hear. A child shouldn’t have to choose sides in their parents’ divorce.
A Parenting Coordination Team Can Help
In the state of , divorcing parents have the option to use a (team) to solve issues associated with child custody. The team is not hired by any one parent to coerce the other. Instead, the team is formed to look after the best interests of the children.
If you think that the custody battle over your children will be a long, drawn out encounter in court, you may want to especially consider the services of a parenting coordination team. They can help you and your ex-spouse mediate conflicts, come up with a parenting plan, and even reduce the number of times you and your ex-spouse have to appear in court. This gives you more time to focus on what matters to you the most—making sure your child feels loved and supported.
If you are anticipating a child custody battle with your spouse during the divorce, feel free to contact our Lansing law office at (517) 337-4600 for your free initial phone consult. At the Law Office of Foster & Harmon P.C., you can count on our many years of expertise with family law and mediation.